It’s not
about who’s right, but
what God’s trying to teach you both.
Everything that happens in this world happens at the time
God chooses…. He sets the time for sorrow and the time for joy. The time for
mourning and the time for dancing, the time for making love and the time for not
making love, the time for kissing and the time for not kissing.
(Eccles. 3:1,4,5TEV)
It was
the Fight of fights.
Tempers
blazed.
Fingers
pointed.
Accusations
flew.
Shouts
fired.
Threats
launched.
Feet dug
in.
Positions
defended.
No
prisoners taken.
“You
never…!”
“You
always…!”
“I’m
done!”
“Fine!
I’m out of here!”
And then
the silence. The confident standoff.
Let’s see
who blinks first!
One
leaves for a friend’s house that night.
The sun
sets on anger.
Shadows
close on distant, self-satisfied pillows.
And eyes
that do not close.
No
problem.
At first.
Then the
sleepless justification. Vindicating re-hash. Sharpened barbs. Re-enforced
defenses. A new zinger determined to mention next time.
The
Accuser smirks.
Righteously
alone, the accusers examine their bedroom ceilings, anticipating.
But no
call comes.
So what?
I won the argument.
Until at
last, seeping relentlessly through the brokenness, comes the fear of losing.
Everything.
What if
we never…?
Later the
next evening, as husband and wife lie smiling in each other’s arms, they turn
to each other with a kiss and….
What?Hold on!
What is this, some kind of sadistic fairy tale? We’re
talking knock-down, drag-em-out brawl, and suddenly the two are making love?
How in the world did
that happen?
I’m glad
you asked.
It’s time
to fight together!
—not against each other,
but side-by-side
against your true, spiritual enemy.
Join bestselling author Gordon Dalbey and
his wife Mary, a psychologist, on this pioneering adventure through the wilderness
of marriage conflict into the blessing of maturing faith and growing love.
From
sex and finances to in-laws and parenting, here’s both tell-it-like-it-is truth
for those with ears to hear and show-it-like-it-can-be grace for those with
hearts to believe.
So God
created man in his own image…
male and
female he created them.
Gen. 1:27
Because God’s image is reflected in man
and woman united, the enemy of God wants to destroy marriages, often by making
you think your partner is the enemy.
So that you will know the hope to which he has
called you, and how very great is his power at work in us who believe.
Eph. 1:15ff
CONTENTS
Foreword: It Was the Fight of Fights, but…
1 Finding Your
Voice:
Starting Apart, Finishing Together
2 In the
Beginning:
Why It’s So Hard
3 Never Waste a
Good Fight:
Getting
a Third Opinion from the Great Physician
4 For Better, for
Worse:
Letting Go of Judgments (Mary Dalbey)
5 When You’re
Hot, You’re Hot; When You’re Not
… It’s
Time to Talk about Sex
6 Hurt People
Hurt People:
But Holy Spirit Heals
7 Leaving Father
and Mother:
The Trailhead to Marriage
8 For Richer, for
Poorer:
Whose Money Is It?
9 Staying Focused
as Parents:
Whose Child Is It?
10 Fire
Prevention:
How to Stop a Fight before It
Starts
11 Caution! I
Love Like You:
The Case for Grace
They say marriages are made in heaven.
So are thunder and lightning. (Clint
Eastwood)
*Forgive
us, Father, for turning away from each other
instead
of turning toward you.
*Anger is pain masquerading as power.
*God
does not lift up one partner to humble the other;
He
lifts up Himself to humble you both.
*With the capacity to judge, it’s not
far from
Paradise to a fight.
*Sexual
intimacy happens not by trying harder,
but
by surrendering more deeply to God and each other.
*Money exposes your values;
that’s why it’s such an explosive issue
for marriages.
*Jesus
loves your children because, like Him,
they
restore innocence to an awfully guilty world—even your own.
*Desperation is solid currency in the Kingdom of God.
*When
you let Jesus heal your childhood wounds,
You
don’t need to act them out any more in your marriage.
True love grows out of great courage—
and great faith in the One who
animates it.
Paperback
$16 at
www.abbafather.com
$20 at
www.Amazon.com
$10 ebook
at
www.kindle.com
