MANY YEARS AGO, in a land far, too far away, my three-year-old son sat excitedly on my lap before bedtime while together we read a picture book based on Treasure Island. As Long John Silver, cutlass in hand, chased young Jim across the page and through the jungle, the boy within my arms suddenly knit his brow and looked up at me. “Daddy,” he burst out, “do pirates wear pajamas?” Startled, I drew back. “Uh, well, that’s…uh, a really great question!” I managed.

When I was much younger and unmarried, my father once told me, “If you never have children, you’ll miss out on one of life’s greatest adventures.” He was right. But I hasten to add, it’s no cakewalk. Adventures, by nature, often lead to unexpected places, where your otherwise comfortable assumptions can get picked off quicker than pieces-of-eight on a treasure chest.

Once, when he was about six, my son and I went for a hike in the woods and found ourselves up against a sloping hill packed with boulders. We took a long and measured look, nodded finally, and up we went. Scraping knees and clinging onto whatever cracks and knobs we could, at last we stood triumphantly together at the peak. “Whew!” I exclaimed in relief. “That was sure an adventure!” Pausing to whack boulder dust off my pants, I added “--but it was pretty scary.” “Daddy,” the boy countered, brushing aside my disclaimer like so much boulder dust, “it’s not an adventure unless it’s a little scary.” He, too, was right.

Welcome to the adventure of fathering. It is indeed more than a little scary.

From the get-go, a dad is nine months behind the starting line. The overwhelming bodily demands of a mother’s pregnancy bond her deeply to the child. The father-bond, however, is not so natural. Its root, in fact, must be super-natural. As such, it requires a heart operation to recognize and engage.

That’s what this book is about.

Sure, it’s not all fun. Fathering exposes your weak spots, calls for sacrifice, a readiness to be wounded, and perseverance. Over the years, however, I’ve come to see these challenges as a father’s labor pains—which have bonded me increasingly to my son.

Even as both pain and joy deepen your faith, the lessons of fathering are the character of God.

Sample Chapters

Sound Bites

Soon after my first book Healing the Masculine Soul promised in 1988 to pioneer a Christian men’s movement, people began asking me, “When are you going to write a book on fathering?” “Call me when I’ve got some experience!” I laughed. Now, 25 years later, I’ve got it. At least, enough to know I can’t give my son everything he needs and to trust the Father of us both to provide it for him--as He’s done for me.

These stories I‘ve collected over the years shine brighter as I try to grasp what so many other dads told me 21 years ago when I became a father: “Enjoy this time—it’ll be over before you know it!” They, too, were right. It’s gone by in a flash. But I took their advice and really did enjoy it. May these stories help you do the same.